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The annoyances of being a ‘Girl Gamer’


Since joining up here and interacting with several other girl gamers, I have learnt that I’m not the only female who can sit and play a game for hours on end and enjoy that feeling of accomplishment when you finally finish a game.  It’s common knowledge that the gaming industry and all things game related is a mans world.  But what I’m writing about today is how being a girl gamer can sometimes cause problems when playing online.  I’ll also be sharing afew of my experiences of being a girl gamer. 

For me, I didn’t class myself as a real girl gamer until I got my Xbox 4 years ago.  Now up until this point I had always played games (for 16 years to be precise) and owned nearly every console on the market, but it was never really a major hobby of mine until I delved into the world of Xbox Live.  Here, I met a wide range of people, all of whom were shocked to discover that I was girl playing their games.  I spent almost every evening playing games and took part in several marathons, all of which took a toll on me when I was in the work the next day.  Blood shot eyes and twitchy thumbs – not a good look. 

It wasn’t long before appearances became the topic of conversation.  Everybody wanted to know what I looked like, and until they saw a picture of me, I found myself crying with laughter at how they imagined I would look.  Apparently the stereotype girl gamer is about 200 pounds overweight, spotty, goofy, ginger, wears glasses and has no idea what the word ‘fashion’ means.  I even came across one boy who said, and I quote, “Oh My God, what are you doing playing games?  People that look like you don’t play games!” Speechless, I managed to reply with “What do you mean, people that look like you?” and he replied “You’re not ugly and fat!  You should be out on the streets drinking and smoking and stuff and having a good time”.  It took a while for him to understand that I didn’t particularly want to drink and smoke on the streets and I was perfectly happy playing video games on an evening. 

The release of Halo 2 was an eye opener for me.  For the first time since owning my Xbox I started to play with/against people all over the world, particularly in America.  This game is where I received the most abuse but I must say I gave as good as I got and people from my friends list took it upon themselves to stick up for me too.  Not to generalise, but most Americans thought that my voice was that of a 5 year old boy playing his Daddy’s Xbox, and I was constantly being asked “When are your balls going to drop?”  When they realised I was actually a teenage girl, the friends requests came flying in much to my amusement.  Infact, sometimes my gamertag, or the colour of my Spartan suit would give away my gender and without me even saying a word, I would receive a friends request.  I’ve been accused of cheating on most online games I’ve played…mind you, who hasn’t been accused of cheating on any Halo game? 

I started to find it more and more amusing when people started asking me to be their girlfriend, asking me to meet up with them to go to the cinema and I also got tired of people trying to hump my Spartan on Halo 2!  I sometimes played games without saying a word so nobody would know I was female and it’s amazing how much my death rate would decrease so nobody could shout “I killed the girl!  I’m going to teabag her body!” But it was also so satisfying when I got my own back.  I also got annoyed when people used to t-bone me into the corners on Project Gotham Racing 3.  If I was leading the pack I became the target and I’d hear “the girl can’t win again”.  Then the cheating accusations came flying in…surely a girl didn’t just beat 7 men in a race?   

I do believe that there are a lot of people who dislike being beaten by a girl on a video game.  There is still that stigma attached to it that it somehow makes a man less masculine if he gets owned by the opposite sex, but times have changed now and the amount of girl gamers out there now is continuing to grow.  In the beginning, when the gaming industry decided to include girl gamers in the gaming world, they got it wrong.  Not all of us want to sit and play games like ‘Bejeweled’ or ‘The Sims’, even though those games are fun to a point, most of us love to play shooting, racing and strategy games.  I also don’t believe that you can call yourself a girl gamer if all you do is play ‘Brain Training’ for afew hours a day…that’s education, not gaming.

With the introduction of more party games, it’s a stepping stone into the world of console gaming for new girl gamers.  My cousin has a Nintendo DS Lite and she currently plays games that involve looking after an animal or dressing up a model.  It won’t be long before I introduce her into the world of real gaming *evil laugh*.   

Yes I’ve been called weird, a geek, a loser and a sad gamer, but it’s something I enjoy.  Yes girl gamers do get grief when they play online, but take it with a pinch of salt, they don’t know what you’re capable of doing when you press that right trigger.  This is not a male bashing article as I love the interaction when you play games with male gamers, this is just simply an article about what some male gamers do to annoy female gamers. 

Ladies, if you have read the above and agreed, nodded, smiled or laughed at anything I have said, then you are a true girl gamer my friend.  Fellas, if you have the read above and agreed, nodded, smiled or laughed at anything I have said, then you need girl gamers on your team.


  1. this article coincides with one i read a few months back about “dominate” players having the need to single someone out, whether it be for race or gender, to ‘give them an edge’ by making the victim feel insecure. im glad there r more gamer girls comn up, as its a big hobby of mine, and i have yet to find a female to share it with. bejeweled players r funny (if considered gamers)

  2. lawl i read this article, i must say i agree with it alot. Even though my last girlfriend i meeet was on Xbox live (she lived really close and she talked to me first, so it doesnt count so MEH) it was still interesting, i also meet alot of girl gamers online, i treat them no differently then i do guy gamers. i also got some gamer girls on my friends list, they are pretty sweet, so in closing, i liked this article alot, it gets a 4/5 😛

  3. This is all very true. Bejeweled does not count as gaming. Tee bagging your husband after firing a shotgun in his face in halo 2 is very satisfying.

  4. Yeah us guys can be real IDIOTS when it comes to the opposite sex.

    I love diversity and I hope some day there are as many females playing games as there are watching movies or t.v. shows. And no not via Nintendo’s horrible casual gamer revolution full of shovel ware..

    Gaming experiences outside of Xbox Live let me know there is an abundance of female gamers out there. I hate World of Warcraft but it is full of females. Also Guild Wars (which I love) is full of em and not a single one I’ve met has been 200+ lbs or ugly lol.

  5. I totally hear you. As a guy I’m annoyed by how many idiot guys are online waiting to pounce on the first girl they hear from online. It’s like there is an army of frustrated teenage boys that can’t manage to utter a word in the presence of a girl and under a faceless username they have been emboldened to harass the first girl they hear from over their headset.
    Only once in my many hours of playing COD4 have I heard a girl playing, and she was bombarded by idiots throwing obnoxious nonsense at her. Me and my friend were telling them to knock it off. It’s refreshing to get the opposite sex into gaming, it’s just sad so many guys make it hard for them.

  6. “If I was leading the pack I became the target and I’d hear “the girl can’t win again”. Then the cheating accusations came flying in…surely a girl didn’t just beat 7 men in a race?”

    HAHAHAHA Awesome 🙂

  7. Nice read. I don’t run into an awful lot of gamer girls that often but it would be nicer to get a mix online. Maybe the annoying blokes might actually realise that trying to trash talk people not only does not impress other blokes, it impresses nobody.

    I understand your position when playing online but the article suggests you embrace it and see it as a challenge. I guess I am not your average bloke on this one, I’d rather have a gamer girl beat me any day than an American teenage kid trash talk me and tell me how I got ‘pwned’.

  8. haha people on xbox live are pretty dumb, but that’s why I stay away from Halo.

    But nerdy guys will always fall for a girl who can’t reject him based on apperance.

  9. Everything you have said is true. I’ve done the test myself. I had my sister wear my microphone, and speak to the other players while playing games, and the general American idiot on xbox live cannot handle losing to a girl. My “cheating score” went up by something like 20% all because my sister was talking on live.

    People need to understand that anyone can be good at gaming.

    Its unfortunate that girls get treated differently on live.One of the best Halo players I’ve ever played with was a girl.

  10. You know, I’m a man and I HATE most other male gamers. Sure, that’s hasty generalization that will make no few amount of readers call me gay – but it seems like all male online gamers (especially you with the microphones) only want to talk trash or be douche holes. It gets old, you know? I’m there to game and relax – not listen to you scream at me for not listening to your ‘master plan’ as if I’m online only to assist your raid.

    So ‘sweetie demon’, if you get a ps3 hit me up. Tag is thesandwalker, and the only chick I’m interested in ‘t-boning’ is my wife… I don’t care how good you are or what you look like, so long as I have more trophies than you.(o.o)v

  11. Excellent article Sweetie Demon :D. This article makes me want to put my mic on when I’m playing Halo :D. But I swear a lot when I die or if someone takes my kill….chasing someone all over the map shooting and grenading them for someone else to shoot them once and get the kill :(. My motto is girlgamers though so it’s obvious I’m a girl lol, to which if my team lose, they pwned us girls (despite the fact I normally, 95% of the time have the highest amount of kills). Or my team mates telling the other team they got pwned by girls lol. I’ve even heard someone on the other team slag his team mates off (he had the most kills) for being beaten by a girl, well girls, there was two of us 🙂 lol.

  12. I read your article and I agree with it 100%. I have been playing video games for most of my life, well since I could pick up the paddle. I started dating a girl, and I quickly found out that she played Halo. Soon she became almost as good as most of the players on our “team”. People would say dumb shit to her all the time and it became really annoying. After they killed her, they would say stuff like “Wonderboy why dont you help your fat ugly bitch out?”

    It was shit like that that made her get frustrated with playing. It wasn’t until she put a major ass whipping on some little douche bags before she got over the frustration of being singled out. Now she is my wife and she laughs when people look at her bio and see the teams website. They then go to the website which has pictures of us, then they will send in their friend requests.

    I am glad that there are some people on Live that will stick up for girls. When I am not there there are a few stand up people that will stand up to the douchbagary when I am not around.

  13. You need to also think about things from the other perspective also.

    How many girl gamers are out that who openly slate guy gamers as being fat, sad, lonely, losers? You and I both know the stereotype is there and women do use it.

    How many girl gamers out there make fun of a guy and/or brand him a pervert as he tries to, genuinely, be friendly with her?

    How many girl gamers out there will go out of their way to annoy/irritate guy gamers in-game by screaming “HA HA HA YOU GOT BEAT BY A GIIIIIIRL!”

    The rude behaviour and gender stereotypes work both ways and while I agree with SOME of the “annoyances” you’ve listed, you need to realise there are just as many on the other side also.

  14. Thanks for the comments. Skylark, I do realise there are girl gamers who will openly abuse male gamers too (some of them quite harsh! lol), but this article was just from a girl gamers perspective. Thanks for reading though. 🙂

  15. I don’t have a problem losing to a girl, as long as I know we were both playing to the best of our ability. I like to play against opponents (male or female) more skilled than I am, because it helps me improve.


  17. Sounds like you get better treatment than I do. As a girl gamer I get people going “why aren’t you in the kitchen” and such rubbish.
    Check out Myspace forums and go to the videogames sections. From there find topics of “why can’t gamers get along” and “Girl gamers don’t exist”

    It has changed my views on american gamers- and im not saying all of them are single minded, but im more reluctant to play or express my opinion now as I got called a cow, fat bitch and whore

  18. Great article, im male and dont know any females who i could consider gamers and would love to meet some, sick of meetings lads who only seem to speak when they think of a new “your mum” joke.

    Fight the power! 🙂


    p.s counterfeit86 is my PSN add me.

  19. Hmm, I have come across the ‘gang up on the girl’ thing many times in my years of gaming. I was warned about it before I started and hoped it wouldn’t be true. Unfortunately it is, especially in Diplomacy, but then everyone is a b*****d in that game!

  20. Yeah this is so true. I hang around with a group of gamers, and being the only girl, i’m never invited to their little halo gatherings etc. purely because im a girl. or maybe its because i’d own them all 😉 but yeah they all think im a noob because i have boobs >:(

  21. Its just a shame there is a focused ‘girl’ market, e.g – Check out the game list in “The girls guide to gaming” No halo, gears of war, fallout 3 or anything of that description in sight. As much as i loved animal crossing, i feel its a bit unfair that “GAMING GIRLS – OMG LOL WOW” are herded into some sort of metaphorical pen where everything is pink and fluffy and no one dies. Fair enough, the guide might be aimed more at younger girls, which is prob true, but its the only thing we’ve got :'( Who needs a bloody guide to play high school musical anyway?! Okay, rant over. But anyway, brilliant article 🙂

  22. haha totally agree with you.. when men lose to a female,. they’ll say 1 more game and they lose again.. frustrated they gonna cheat and use their more leveled up character. haha

    it’s really fun when you beat up a male gamer who are super boastful and irritating


  23. Great article. Im not sure if anyone here own a PS3, but if they do own one and have played HOME with a female avatar, then they will probably have been swarmed with men asking “R u really a gurl”. I find this incredibly stupid. It makes the woman in question feel stupid (so ive been told) and it makes the guy asking the questions look like a complete clown. people have got to grow up, its the 21st century, everybody should be able to play games without being subject to this madness. psn:barrettman92

  24. Im a games design student and in a minority all my own. In college it was me and another girl in a class of 13. Now in Uni, im the only girl in a class of 33. Many of them thought I was there to draw anime and work on the Cooking Mama or Nintendogs series. . . They became quiet when I beat most of them at Ages of Empires and Strret Fighter. To be honest girls, if your a good gamer then you shudn’t let any of this annoyances get to you, just keep smiling till the timer runs down and leave when ur top of the table : )

    Much love Abz x x x

  25. I understand where this girl is coming from but thats every mans fantasy, to find a girl that spent endless hours playing gears 2, if there were more girls that play games then us guys wouldnt have this problem

  26. OMGGG. your just THE BEST! i totally agree with you 100%! i play ps3 on cod4 and stuff, and im getting xbox this friday. if you send me your gamertag by my website/email, i could add you and play yu at some stuff 🙂
    p.s you rock 😛

  27. oh and im sure the PS3 online gaming is way more modest than 360. there is more n00bz on the 360 [mainly americans] who cant face being beaten by a girl

  28. I’ve ALSO been called a weirdo, a geek, and a loser… People have also told me to get a life!!! I guess they really don’t know how much influence a good shooting game can have on us women. I’ve played countless of video games and it usually takes me less than 24 hours to pass a game 😀 I love video games!!! I’ve never ever met another girl who loved games as much as I do!!! It’s so exciting!!!
    I grew up around men and I always beat them in fighting games and racing games and they always say I’m a cheater and that I don’t play fair…
    Any who…

  29. Well, I would love to meet a female gamer who would like to play Halo with me or Gears. but most of them have full friends lists or just aren’t intrested in me…. I never am bias against female gamers. Infact, I lose to them alot. female gamers are pretty cool.

  30. This is pretty ridiculous – not the article, the article was great, and I agree….

    …It’s just like some of the guys here I gotta say that chicks that REALLY enjoy games or enjoy them as much as the guy does are in REALLY high demand…

    I’m not the sorta guy who jumps all over or cusses chicks or anyone other than an awesome opponent on live but… aside from my ex who dreamed she was sam fisher (kinda freaky lol), I’ve NEVER EVER met a chick who properly likes video games.

    And I’ve tried to introduce every ex i’ve had…. Sorry. I gotta cut that short….

    Point being. Who’s good at beat em ups? Yeah, I highly doubt it. None of my man friends IRL can beat me at any.
    Try. I beg of you. An ass wooping will not be followed by attempted rape and would be much appreciated….(again sorry bout the ranting there – serious business)

    Motie Sifu – FTL =) lol

  31. Sorry – obviously Motie Sifu’s my xbox live tag – just in case I was too lame to make that clear the 1st time….

    ….got f!@$!#g mudkips all over my keyboard…

  32. I Agree with you 100% i’ve heared boys say that 2 girl gamers. That sometimes happens to me but some boy just go “wtf!?! ur a GIRL!”. I play Resistance 2 on the ps3.
    My psn is: Ironbru_Scotland

  33. I play XBOX LIVE and i always get told than i sound like a 4yr old and many guys have added me in their amazement that they were playing Call Of Duty-World At War with a 13yr old girl.Girl gamers own!

  34. Hiya,
    Well i’am a 23year old gamer girl. I love coming home from work and chilling out n my baby. But no matter what i get so much stick.

    I alway’ss get the your fat , ugly , got no life. But who are they to say we have no life .

    They are also playing online nearly everyday. But as they don’t want to face fact’s that they have no life. They will say i don’t.

    Boy gamer’s really make me laugh. And that they use xbox live as a dating line. How sad…

    P.S that’s my gamertag if ya famcy a game add me..

  35. Hi, I’m a 12 year old guy I usually see people raping girls online and personally, I hate that. I mean yeah you can have a gf online and crap but I HATE it when people are prejudice and say “you got owned by a girl :P” and stuff. Also, I wouldn’t like it if my ex gf would have to face this kind of stuff.

  36. But, I do think dat u can hav a gf online, i mean u cant stop ne1 frm liking each other and den askin em out online or stuff…

  37. I love Girl Gamers!
    I have nothing against them. I find them more interesting than the really girly girls and stuff. I have nothing against being beaten by a Girl. Only if she’s a beginner, but if I get beaten by a Male Newbie than I also cannot stand it. However, there are more Anime Fangirls than Game Girls… I dunno why… Any how, Girl Gamers are Awesome. So are Male Gamers…

  38. I just love the article and I fully agree with it. I love playing online fps games on my pc. But I don’t use my mic or tell them that I’m a girl. If they do find out I’m a girl i get a response like:
    :O or post a pic. (And they mysteriously go quiet looking at the scoreboard and typing even more :O …)
    I aslo don’t see many girls on the servers I play on. I have only once came across another girl but she was way young and only spoke russian.

  39. Hey, I completely agree with you.

    Our class in high school were doing a writing piece on the dangers of videogames, and all the boys were talking about their favourites. When our teacher asked if any of us girls played games, only me and my best friend put our hands up, and all the other girls and guys laughed! It was so stupid, they were asking things like ‘Ooh, what do you play, Donkey Kong?’ which can be fun yeah, but is nowhere close to what I actually play (Gears, CoD, fallout etc)

    It’s unfair that all the games that are marketed towards us are stuff like nintendogs, girls play gamestoo! And we’re good at them!! I always get asked to send pics on XBOX live. It’s annoying we’re not judged on gaming ability

    cheers to all girl gamers!!!

  40. Lol… Loved The Article! I’m A Lad Btw, Agreed With The Article 100%

    I Now Understand Girl Gamers, You Have Converted Me From A Stereotype To A Person Who Will Include Girl Gamers Now 😛
    Robmeister1994 Is My Gamertag If Anyone Has Xbox Live (Male Or Female) For Anyone Who Wants To Add Me. Lol I Love The Idea Of Not Revealing You Are A Girl… Then Suddenly Doing So. Shocking Yet Completly Hilarious 🙂

    I Need To Know How Good Girl Gamers Are Before Fully Convinced Though:P
    GAME ON!

    I Won’t Ask For Pics :)(That’s Just A Tiny Bit Sad And Pervy)

  41. I must say I love this artical, and the stereotypes it challanges. I think the girl gamers are seriously underestimated, and this due to the fact that large amount of xbox live users are teen or pre-teen boys, because this is xbox’s target market, in other circles such as steam (tf2 ect) I hear many girl and guy gamers getting along just fine!

    Food for Thought

    (P.S I am a guy)
    (P.P.S I laugh at the amount of guys commenting on here) ^^

  42. Something else any girl gamer will empathise with is the idea that the “pink version” of a console (or any consumer electrical, like a mobile phone) is the “girl’s one”. You’re a girl, the pink one is for you! The pink one is clearly marketed to women! No men may own the pink version!

    You know what?

    I f**king hate pink. And I’m sure a lot of guys would appreciate not being treated with such a sexist attitude. “You can’t use this colour, you’re a dude!” Depriving half the species from using an entire colour? How rude.

  43. I agree with the comment from Typhoid. There are men who like pink too…so just ignore the suggested labels for it, I say.

  44. I’m a tad late in commenting but I’ve just stumbled across this and have to say I loved reading it.

    This reminds me so much of why I refused to buy an XBox 360 for quite some time and why I still hate having my mic on and listening to the put downs and the trash talk etc when playing online. I’m glad to say I’ve never witnessed any girls being picked on whilst on Live, I’ve only knowingly played online with two girls though. From reading about the experiences of others though the trash talk and the hate towards female gamers only seems to come from North Americans, the rest of the world appears to have grasped the purpose of video games and just wants to enjoy the experience of each opponent/teammate that comes along whoever they may be. Not trying to taint the whole of NA with the same brush but you get my point, I hope.

    I agree with Typhoid also about the colour thing. I admittedly got my girlfriend a pink DS Lite but I use it sometimes too if I’ve forgotten mine. I also wasn’t happy until I got myself a pink 360 controller though so there are some of us guys out there that do like pink 🙂

  45. Sooooo true! THis has happened countless times for me, i’ve been asked: “Are you really a girl then?” with me replying:”well….yes” i literally laugh outload when they start to panick at the fact that i’ve killed them…even once.
    Its funny hearing their reactions though 😀

  46. Hey, I’m a guy gamer (with abit of an effeminate side) and I enjoy reading articles like this. I completely agree that it is a little disappointing when I hear over the microphone “Target the girl! She can’t beat us” and I just roll my eyes and think…”Grow up..” whatever the gender, your either gonna kill me or I’m gonna kill you whether it be in Uncharted 2, Modern Warfare 2 or whatever game.

    I actually prefer to play girls because (I’m not being offensive here, I hope) they are alot nicer in terms of games, whereas the men get REALLY angry when you kill them, the girls are more like ‘good kill’ and aren’t as compeditive in my experiences. I play for fun and thats it.

  47. HAHAHA this is so true i mean at the end of the day im a guy gamer if i get beat by a girl at first i would be like, what has just happened, but then thinking about it a girl can be as good as guys at video games im not some sort of weirdo or anything but i think it would be kinda cool to play alongside with some girl gamers, i dont really trash talk i just get on with it i lose i lose simple im looking for a halo 3 team so if anyone wants to try and get a team together im cool with that 🙂
    My GT is xX P0T Black Xx,
    P.S everything you said is so true about most of the guy gamers seriously iv played with so many guys that walk across the whole map just to teabag a girl gamer so sad but in a way funny coz they always end up getting killed by the girl after lol

  48. I totally agree with this artical, I’ve been gaming for as long as I can remember and I just joined steam today because a friend of mine suggested it to me. I got on there on the chat and the first thing said was “OMG a girl WTF is she doing on my internet and games” and then “I bet your just some overweight 12 year old with really bad acne that cant get a boyfriend” type things. I was actually really supprised, being more of a tomboy at school I have always gotten on better with boys and played against them in real life, been just as good at them in almost all the games i’ve played. But it seems as soon as I get online all of that changes quite a bit and I guess its going to take some getting used to :3 I kinda wish there were more girl gamers out there so it wasnt considered a boy only thing. I think it would be more fun if the numbers of boy and girl gamers were more equal.

  49. the thing is, not all boys are like that, its just that there are some IDIOTIC perverted assholes just go mad when they hear about a girl playing video games, on the other hand there are some kind-hearted individuals out there will treat a girl like any other gamer.

  50. I have been playing a MMORPG for almost 6 yesrs now and the main complaint I had with men in game is that they think they have to protect me because I am a woman. I don’t need nor want anyone’s protection. I can take the villains down with the best of them.

  51. Hey. I’m a guy gamer, and I loved this post :P. It’s really sad that girl gamers are harassed so much by SOME guy gamers, and don’t get a fair deal. I have encountered just one girl gamer in my 4 and a half years of gaming on various consoles and I am getting really tired of hearing annoying guys moaning about unfair kills, or how they got killed so the other person must be cheating somehow. From the comments I have read, girl gamers are way more fun to play with than these imbeciles. So anybody (girls and guys) that wants to play with a non annoying person (I really do) then please (PLEASE *triple underline*) hit me up. My gamertag is my name I used here. Decent gamers against offensive idiots! More girl gamers needed! Everyone play nice! Really good article Sweetie Demon! Rawr!

  52. Bleh. I always avoid using a headset on xbox just cos I don’t like the shit guys start when they realise I’m female. Sad times 🙁

  53. hi im a boy gamer and im supporting girl gamers i think itis terible boy gamers treat them i have youtube channle and trying to find some1 t do interview with my gt is OrangeSn1p3r

  54. I hear that! Why shouldn’t girls game? Hell many of them are actually better than most guys out there. Don’t like what you’re hearing online girls? Well a simple headshot will put you in charge!


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